This must be perfectly clear: there can be no escape. We have installed doors by the stairwells. All lavatories have been locked for your convenience. Thus, all forms must henceforth be filled out in triplicate. The forms used heretofore will not be used nor will they be accepted. The new forms are not available. You must get the new forms from the secretariat in charge of forms. The secretariat is closed until further notice. You will play by these rules or be thrown into a CONDITION OF DOUBT from which you can only escape by filling in the proper forms and having them signed by the lavatory captain, who is now on leave.
All employees of the US Government must present identification to registrar before entering these grounds. All electronic recording devices and weapons must be presented for inspection prior to entry. US CODE Title 303, Section 1998-Jy5 DHS REGULATION 13013-X
Warning. This pass is a Bowling League Property, issued for official use, not to exceed expiration date shown on the face of the pass. Use or possession of an unauthorized person, counterfeiting, or alteration is a violation of Section 420 Title 32, US Code, and will make the offender liable to penalty.
NOTICE: When League drawings, specifications, or other data are used for any purpose other than in connection with a definitely related League procurement operation, the Bowling League thereby incurs no responsibility nor any obligation whatsoever; and the fact that the League may have formulated, furnished, or in any way supplied the said drawings, specifications, or other data is not to be regarded by implication or otherwise as in any manner licensing the holder or any other person or corporation, or conveying any rights or pennission to manufacture, use, or sell any patented invention that may in any way be related thereto.